Bluelens

My typical daily commute involves me catching the bus to the metro station and then grabbing the line to work.  During this time I will pop in the ear buds, turn some music on and open my book.  However the past couple of days I have been unable to open my book and read.  Once the music starts I get transported back about 16 years - jesus 16 damn years, where did the time go.  Scrolling through the music on my PiMP I decided to settle on some Alice in Chains.  Once the guitars started in I was transported back to 1992-93.

After I got out of high school I moved to the other side of the state (N.C.).  I didn’t really have a plan of action that was based anywhere in reality.  I was following a girl and figured I would work a little bit and start taking classes at NCSU - studying film.  Not a bad idea entirely.  The only problem I had was being beyond broke.  I found a room to rent and got a job.  The room was in a nice enough house but the job didn’t really pay enough for me to be able to afford the room and all the other necessities of life easily.

Being broke and soon following without a mate or friends I reverted back to one of my school-era hobbies of laying in my room with headphones on listening to music.  Many people talk about relaxing and listening to music but they tend to pair it with doing other things.  When I listened to music that was all I did was lay back and get lost in the tunes that were thumping in my head.  Occasionally when the CD insert had lyrics I would follow along but everything else n the world would melt away.  This is how hours would cruise by without me even noticing

These were the days where on payday I would pay my rent, divide off gas money I would need to get me through the next couple weeks and with the remaining funds I would treat myself to a Taco Bell dinner (their famous $.79 menu) and then head to the store to buy the off brand foods that would sustain me (sort of) until the next payday.  Of course the money didn’t really hold out long enough for me to do ‘real’ grocery shopping.  I would get the blue box of cornbread mix and make that (without milk but using water instead - yuck) and that would hold me a couple days, and the large bag ‘o generic cereal would be my guide.  Having a job at a convenience store also helped as did roommates who took pity upon me and let me share in their salads.

I survived - scurvy-less - but I wasn’t miserable.  I figured this was what people were talking about when they referred to their ‘college years’ and how times were tough.  The only difference here was that I wasn’t in school and at the rate i was going would ever be.

So there I would be laying on the floor on my sleeping bag in my room listening to music and soaking in what was pouring into my ears.  During this time AiC was one of those bands that would get a fair amount of air time on WJMH.  So when the crunchy guitars and the unmistakable voice of Layne I was transported to that setting.

I switched to a different AiC album on the PiMP and was taken back to ‘93.  In ‘93 my situation changed a little bit.  I was no longer living in Cary, NC but was moving in with my best friend at the time and his family.  they had just moved from Shelby to Garner, NC so that John, their son, could go to NCSU.  they were kind enough to let me share a room with John for a reasonable rate.  I was still working at the c.store and because my rent was a little less my eating habits improved and I had a little extra money for music - the beginning of the CD collection I have now.

Although I now had company this didn’t change my music listening habits.  I would still able to lie  on my bedding - still no actual bed to my name - and instead of pop in the headphones we played the music on the stereo.  John and i would hang out like this for hours on the weekends absorbing what the speakers were throwing at us.  no bed, not much money beyond what I was able to scrape by on, but again, I was living in the moment.

Usually musical journeys of nostalgia will remind me of a place or time but after a second or two I return on my brief few seconds of being unstuck in time.  But there are times where I can’t seem to escape the trip, nor am I trying to.

Maybe I should start to talk about the times i was living in Cary and Garner.  Nothing too wild happened during those times but I think much of what I experienced had a major part in the final formation of who and what I am.  Besides, it is fun to grab those memories off the shelf, dust them off and share.  Maybe next time it will be some stories about me, my old ‘71 Plymouth Satellite and the tape playing on the clunky red Fisher Price tape player that I borrowed from my little sister.